“The Brady Bunch” fan-fiction.

This is about seeing how over-the-top I can get.

It was a very Brady breakfast, consisting of flapjacks and sausages all made by Carol Brady.
“Poor Alice! She was sick most of the night. I have given her the day off… hm… I think the sausages are not quite right,” she mused with sadness in her voice “but I tried, I really tried.”

“Oh no, mom!” Marsha said

“you make the best sausages ever!” Peter encouraged. And all the other Brady kids nodded in agreement.
Mike Brady carefully laid down his newspaper, and surveyed his perfect kids, even the three adopted ones. “Alright, listen up! We need to get our flu vaccinations right away.”
“I’ll go first,” Marcia said, raising her hand.
“But why does Marsha get to go first? She always gets to go first!” Jan whined.
“Marcia, Marcia, Marcia,” Cindy giggled and the rest of the Brady kids giggled right along with her!

“Now, now,” Carol Brady said “Jan if it’s really that important to you we’ll let you go first!” and Jan smiled.

It was then that Alice shuffled into the kitchen, and her movements were slow and awkward. She listed to the side and moaned softly, as she shuffled into the kitchen.

“Alice, we appreciate your dedication not to mention that you work for free we are truly indebted but you should really go back to bed now,” Mike admonished.

“Don’t get too close!” Cindy begged “I don’t want Kitty Carryall to get sick.”
Cindy made a face mask from her napkin and placed it over her dolls face.
“Aaaaaaa” went Alice and she stumbled into the kitchen
“Wow,” Greg said “she’s really sick. Then the rest of the kids begin to make masks out of their napkins.

Alice groaned louder, now making horrifying slurping and sniffing noises. Carol gave Mike that look and Mike got up from the chair. “Now “Alice you get paid far too little, to be working so hard when you are so sick. it’s time for bed Alice.” Both Carol and Mike moved in to take Alice by the arms and lead back to bed.

Alice turned around, snarling, then began screaming and jumped on Carol and Mike, attacking them with a crazed fervor, and all the Brady kids begin is screaming in horror.

“Help, help!” Carol screamed “stop biting me Alice!”

“This is inappropriate behavior, Alice! I’m going to have to reevaluate your work performance!” Mike yelled out, before falling to the floor as Alice sunk her teeth into his neck.

Napkins flew everywhere, plates and cups swept off the table and the chairs overturned as all the kids scrambled to get out of the kitchen and away from this creature that was once Alice the maid!


Greg turned off the radio and frowned.

“A zombie apocalypse, oh no!” Cindy moaned. Marcia and Jan rolled their eyes.

“Come on Cindy! there’s no such thing as zombies!” Marcia stated, then flipped her hair over her shoulder. The boys just looked at her.

Greg glared at her “That’s nice Marsha that’s real nice! Maybe we could just go downstairs and tell Alice that she’s not a zombie while she’s in the middle of eating mom and dad!

“Yeah Marsha, get real!” Peter agreed, slapping at her face.

“Oh, my nose!” Marcia cried out, as his open hand collided with her proboscis. What are we going to do Greg?” Jan begged.

“I have no idea,” Greg replied.


To Be Continued

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